BOA OR BUST

The following hair raising story is compliments of one of The Daily Dose's readers, Mrs Teresa Sanders Scheuter. You can find her on the friends list of The Daily Dose Group. ENJOY!
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If I had known I would be wearing my first Boa before the end of the day, I would have dressed differently that morning. Ignorance is bliss, however, and I chose a crystal pleated plaid wool skirt and a dark green velour top - reasonably fashionable for the mid-1980's. The flats I put on my feet were a near necessity for a third grade teacher who only sat down to take attendance and eat lunch.

By the time the afternoon rolled around, students and teachers alike were anticipating a school-wide assembly. Some guy would come and show off some animals. Perfect... Animals would keep my students attention and mean less class monitoring for me. On the way out the door, I grabbed a handful of papers that needed grading. New teachers are always stacked up. Might as well get a little work done.

The cafeteria was shivering with excitement. These weren't ordinary birds and wilderness animals today. These were reptiles. Lovely!! As the assembly wore on, I was relieved I had the foresight to bring some papers to check. Kept my eyes off the snakes. When the nice Reptile Man called for volunteers, teachers chuckled and tsked over the many kids eager to get there hands on a large snake. When an adult volunteer was needed, there were no takers. Too late, I realized that my efficiency was my undoing. One teacher with a handful of paperwork was an attention - getter, and I found myself propelled to the stage as the entire school cheered.

How bad could it be? I would just pet a snake and get it over with. My students would have something to tell there parents that night. As I took my position, I was horrified to discover that I was not here to help the students on stage hold a large snake, my role was to hold a snake MYSELF! A forty pound snake. A boa constrictor. Don't these snakes, um, squeeze their prey? How would it know I wasn't it's snack?

As the now Annoying Reptile Man positioned my hands above my shoulders, I desperately prayed silently, "Lord, if you'll just let me survive this, I promise I'll never grade papers in assemblies again, no matter how far behind I am." Annoying Reptile Man dropped the boa into my unwilling hands. As I felt myself sway, I was grateful I had worn flats instead of heels, which helped keep me stable. If I tottered over, Id be tangled on the floor with a mad boa constrictor. That snake was heavy and smelly. I just hoped I didn't smell like something to eat.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw movement. I quickly squinched my eyes closed. Something brushed my hair. I realized the entire assembly was laughing with delight, at my expense. Could I get a bonus for this? Annoying Reptile Man turned his attention to the kids and left me to tremble on my own.

As the kids began leaving the stage, I cautiously slitted open my eyes. Annoying Reptile Man told me just to put his snake down in the long wooden box behind me. Then he turned away. I awkwardly leaned back and dropped the snake out of my hands. As it thudded into the box, Annoying Reptile Man snapped, "Carefully! Don't break his back!" I glared steadily back at the now Despised Reptile Man and stalked off the stage. I had lived through this ordeal and would not apologize to anyone.

It took three washings to get the smell of that snake out of my green velour top. Any time I am tempted to be a good sport and go along with something I really don't want to, I relive the reptile incident and the temptation passes. And I NEVER wear green.
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I am assuming, without actually asking, that this is a true story. One that I don't ever want to experience myself, but one that I am proud to publish here on The Dose. Great story Teresa. Thank you for sharing it.

Be sure and give Teresa your Kudos' by writing your comment below.

Until next time,
Chip