AUSTIN AND ME

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Cancer is something that I have always been familiar with. Ever since I can remember I have been checking for symptoms and worrying about the fact that I could be next. It started out when I was really young and my cousin Greyson was diagnosed with a rare type of cancer. After going through a lot of chemotherapy we were glad to hear that the cancer was gone. Knowing cancer is rare its hard to believe I had to watch another one of my cousin suffer from it only a few years later. His name is Austin and today that's who I am going to talk about.

"There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle." Albert Einstein. When I first saw this quote, it made me think about how I treated life and all the things I had taken for granted. One of the things I took for granted the most was the time I got to spend with my cousin Austin. The times that we got to spend together were always fun, but I didn't realize how precious those moments would be until later. Austin grew up in Prairie Grove, Arkansas. Austin participated in every sport you could think of and had many friends. Every year our family would get together for a family reunion. When the family reunion rolled around in 1998, I couldn't wait to see Austin again considering he was the only person around my age in my family. To my disappointment, I didn't get to hang out with him much because he had been having severe headaches and had to stay indoors most of the trip. Soon after the reunion, even simple tasks became difficult for Austin. His parents realized something was terribly wrong when his headaches grew worse and were more frequently. His parents rushed him to Children's Hospital and we all waited anxiously to hear the results. I can still remember hearing the news. At the time, I refused to believe how serious it actually was. Austin was diagnosed with a very rapidly growing brain tumor. The doctors only gave him six months to live. After hearing the news I wanted to see Austin very much. I remember my mom sneaking me into the hospital to see him. I can still see him to this day sitting in the hospital bed with no hair and with IV's in his arm, but he still had the biggest smile on his face, trying to make me and my brother feel comfortable. Austin's great attitude and confidence gave us another year with him. The last time I saw Austin was on Easter of 2000. I was shocked to see how different he looked and barely recognized him. But once I saw his beautiful smile I knew it was him and almost felt a sense of relief. I knew from then on that Austin would always be with me. Austin lost his battle to cancer on Memorial Day of 2000. Although I no longer get to hear his laugh or see his smile, I know that he is with me every single day guiding me through life. I never got to say goodbye to Austin. I always thought he would get better. I never accepted the fact that one day he wouldn't be with us anymore. Most of my family knew his life was coming to an end when they saw him on Easter, but I didn't. I thought I would see him again at the next family gathering. When I found out about his death the only person I wanted to talk to was the person I couldn't. I think about Austin a lot and wonder how different things would be if I still was able to see him today. Instead of getting upset, I try and think about the good times I had with Austin.

I'm still confused why Austin was taken from us, but I know he is in a better place now and is waiting until the day that we will all be together again. Austin taught me a lot about life. He taught me to live each day to the fullest and to not let the little things bother you. I feel selfish when I think about all the things I complain about everyday. Don't take life for granted and don't take the people in your life for granted, because you never know what is going to happen tomorrow. The message I want to get across to you is that we have such a short time on earth to not worry about the little things. Live every moment of everyday like it's your last and appreciate everything. You only live life once, so live it to the fullest with no regrets. I'm going to end with a poem I wrote for Austin from his point of view:


Please remember forever
Forget me never
Dwell upon me whenever

The sun is shining down
I'm in a happier place now
This is my solemn vow

I was not taken vainly
Its just God really needed me
This is where I need to be

In heaven watching over you
My family you know this is true
This beginning is new

For all of us
A snivel is a must
But please adjust

To our new situation please
I'm okay if that puts you at any ease
Instead of pain I'm living in peace

I got the kiss of death before most
Because of cancer I was diagnosed
But your time is almost

Coming to an end
And then we'll be together again
And then our hearts will mend


Written by Lauren Griffin


"There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle." Albert Einstein.

May your entire life be a miracle, because you are.

Until next time,
Chip